Vice City Realtor Sells Same Condemned Building to Seventeen Buyers, Named Salesman of the Month
Leonida's most decorated real estate agent, Brant "Breezy" Faulkner of Faulkner & Associates Premier Luxury Realty, is facing seventeen simultaneous lawsuits after allegedly selling the same structurally condemned waterfront property to seventeen separate buyers between March and June of this year. The building in question — a five-story Vice Point condominium complex officially classified as "imminent collapse risk" since 2019 — was marketed by Faulkner as having "breathtaking views" (accurate, as the eastern wall was missing), "an open-concept layout" (the ceilings had partially fallen in), and "exceptional beach access" (it was flooding).
Among the buyers: a retired accountant from Paleto Shores who believed she was getting a vacation home; a Vice City tech startup that intended to use the lobby as office space; two separate couples who each believed the other was a ghost; and a man named Russ who "just liked the mailbox." All seventeen closings were conducted in the same week, often back-to-back, with Faulkner reportedly telling each buyer the others were "just contractors having a look around."
The Leonida Real Estate Commission announced it would be opening a formal investigation, though proceedings were briefly delayed after the commission's own headquarters was found to have been sold by Faulkner the previous Thursday. He is currently on a yacht. His agency named him Salesman of the Month for a record-tying fourth consecutive time, citing his "remarkable volume" and "total commitment to closing." The building collapsed on Wednesday. No injuries were reported, as all seventeen owners were simultaneously trying to evict each other through the courts and none had moved in.
