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Local Man Spends Six Hours Customising Dream Car, Drives It Into Ocean Eight Minutes Later

Carlos Wentworth • MotoringTuesday
Local Man Spends Six Hours Customising Dream Car, Drives It Into Ocean Eight Minutes Later - Vice City news article illustration

Darnell Osei, a 34-year-old real estate developer, arrived at Benny's Original Motorworks on Tuesday morning with a vision: a pearl-white Infernus Classic sedan customized to his exact specifications. What followed was an exhaustive six-hour consultation in which Osei made decisions regarding suspension, engine modifications, interior trim, wheel specifications, and custom paint applications. The final invoice totaled $340,000. Osei appeared satisfied and expressed excitement about taking the completed vehicle for an immediate test drive.

Security footage from Pier 7, located approximately eight minutes' driving time from the custom shop, shows Osei's pearl-white Infernus Classic entering the waterfront access road at approximately 4:15 PM. The vehicle was traveling at approximately 35 miles per hour. Without perceptible hesitation, brake application, or apparent change of trajectory, the vehicle proceeded directly onto the pier's edge and into the ocean. Osei exited the vehicle prior to submitting to rescue operations. He declined to provide a statement regarding his motivations, beyond telling responding officers: "It looked really good though, right?"

Insurance documentation reveals that Osei's policy explicitly excluded "acts of deliberate environmental destruction" and "driving into water while apparently mentally stable." Benny's Original Motorworks has declined to offer refunds, though owner Benny Kim stated the incident was "visually excellent for social media" and has actually resulted in increased workshop inquiries. Osei has not returned calls requesting comment, though his real estate office reported he "called in depressed about something" and is currently taking personal leave.

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This story is satire. Any resemblance to actual persons, flamingos, or central bankers is entirely coincidental and entirely the point.

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